Misty Montrose, last week
I mentioned when I started this new blog just recently that I wasn't sure whether it would have any poetry content at all... and especially if it would feature any poetry by little old me. In the old blog I posted quite a lot of poems, took part in poetry projects, wrote about poetry matters and such like so it would be quite a change for me and my online life if this were all to change. Some of you were good enough to protest a little about this suggestion and your comments were much appreciated (we take what we can, eh, crumbs of praise, crumbs of self-respect...) but in all honesty I really have no idea, at this point, if I will ever write another poem again. I mean, who cares, really, especially when there is so much else to think about (social unrest, social decay, settling back in at home, not settling back in at home, going out, staying in, family life etc.). And it's weird because I'm not upset or even particularly confused or anything - I just feel a bit 'dunno' about the whole thing. And people keep saying “you must have got so much material while you were travelling!” and I'm like “yeh, maybe, s'pose so” (in all those six months I read very little poetry and wrote even less). These inarticulate responses seem very teenage, don't they? Maybe it's some stage of bereavement or something.
I do know that, even in simpler times, I never feel about poetry the way some of you others do. I don't bathe in it, revel in it, wrap myself in it and float away and all that (maybe that's my problem – it has always been music with actual tunes that has done those kind of things for me). And, for example, when I listened to the radio documentary about poet Rosemary Tonks last year or so and they got to the bit about her withdrawing from the world of poetry the commentators (and poetry lovers) on the programme were all “how could she do that?” and “why would she do that?” and I was like “well, duh, why wouldn't you?” Her departure may have had something to do with religion but I could imagine many other reasons why a person might want to abandon poetry (or at least goings-on to do with it). For me (so far) the poetry world has never worked much magic (though I know that for others it is a wondrous place to be, likeminded souls and all that). In my case I've been to poetry festivals and felt time and time again like a fish out of water, a fish without a bicycle and pretty much a fish out on a slab with my head cut off (not so magical). And I know I miss Adrian Mitchell...
So will there be any poems as the posts roll out over the coming months? I dunno, I dunno and, again, I dunno. Sorry to be so adolescent.
And now back to the social unrest... and some music... borrowed from Dick Jones.
21 comments:
Nothing wrong with adolescence, Rachel. They say one should retain one's inner child throughout one's life. I agree, but I would like to add that the inner adolescent is at least just as important.
Duncan
Innit though.
x
Well Rachel, it is completely understandable and totally your choice, but I have to say I have very often visited your blog with real relish of a poetry bus day, because you often managed such beauty, meaning, thought provokingness (technical poetry term) etc with great economy in terms of word count, so for that reason, for what it's worth, I'd always be happy to see your poems in any forum, and if you choose not to write or post any more of them that's ok too, but I guess I'm trying to say - I'm grateful for what you've shared to date.
Now it looks like maybe I was fishing for encouragement. Maybe I was.
Thanks for lovely comment whatever. And techspeak (my kind of techspeak).
x
Time will tell!
Maybe you will enjoy your poem in PB2 (reading AND listening)I know I do!
I can't even remember which one it is at this point! So it will be a nice surprise when it comes...
x
So long as you're here, doing what you feel...
k x
I follow several people who post poetry, but I prefer reading prose, usually. Mostly it's about having something to say, or saying nothing really well (which I find works better in prose), or just storytelling & recounting the day or the bizarre thing that happened with the cat. As for writing, I think for a time I had things to get out that needed poems. They're out now.
I look forward to your posts whether they're poemy or not.
One bereavement of a very dear loved one; six months travelling in a nomadic sort of way - all I can say Rachel is relax, keep listening to music like this piece and edventually it will all come back together again. Love from us all here.
Thanks for these 3 comments - all interesting.
Ken - always friendly and supportive!
NanU - yes, I've always written in some form (and probably always will) but it hasn't always been poetry, that's for sure. Maybe it will be something else for a while.
The thing about the nomadic business, Weaver, was that I really enjoyed it (the anonymity of constant moving, seeing all the different places, hearing all the different sounds and voices). I kind of miss it now and maybe will write something about it (I read Bruce Chatwin's "Songlines" on the road... that might come in too). Still, life's not all fun and games, is it..?
x
You had me weeping my eyes to arseholes. 'Spiegel im Spiegel' is my most favoured piece of music - was listening it this week - and it always takes my breath away. But poetry can do that to me, too.
I'll be just as happy to read your social ramblings as your poetry because it's all part of you.
I'm not really part of a poetry community either - it's just that some things I had to say came out as poems, & I've really enjoyed the weekly challenges. But I'm kind of moving away from that too - or at least the need to write something every week. I had a poem pop out all on its own the other morning (about my mom, go figure). I like them best that way.
But really, can I be frank? Although I enjoyed most of your poetry, I really enjoyed the little (or not so little) intro to the poems even more.
Can I say what they all said? Especially Niamh.
I think everyone is a fish out of water in the poetry world except the twats.
Lovely image, RF! And thanks.
Bug - you'll never get your ticket to the poetry community saying things like that (that you prefer the intro!). Good job you don't want it anyway by the sounds of it. I think I had hoped it might be a place for me... I would quite like a place where I don't feel like the proverbial chopped liver (I'm being overdramatic... quelle surprise... I do have some places like that here and there... odd circles of friends, offline and on).
And Titus... sometimes it has felt like there are a lot of twats! I don't feel that way right now even - kind of past the hatred stage. It's more that it feels a bit like it is a club (or series of clubs) and that none of them want me as a member. Or is that I don't want to be a member of them... hard to tell... Right now I feel like writing a horror book or something (watching 'Being Human' series 3 that we missed while away... it's fantastic!).
x
i can't say it better than titus!
having many of my own love it/leave it issues and reprioritising the bike, the boat and just about everything else above the writing this year i can't say i'm looking back with a deal of regret. which isn't to say i'm leaving it alone, just different is all
It does feel like a series of cliques at times - I agree. Good thing I thrive on doing my own thing. Also, I was told last year by the head of a particular and well known publisher that my chances of making it as an English writer in NZ were very slim - nothing like an "I'll prove you wrong" to get the ink and determination flowing.
I'll buy your horror book, by the way - what'll it be about? Cameron and his zombies?
Yes, different... different is where I'm heading, I suppose.
And, yes, being an English writer in Scotland, probably wasn't the best planning either! Maybe there's a horror story in that...
x
So interesting Rachel how you're feeling. I thought it was only me who felt that way! Have been floundering in a morass of non-writing for a while now and it feels like a far off thing that someone else did.
But, I have to say, not only is it interesting how you are feeling, but to me, I found it surprising - as I have to echo other commenters and say I always found your writing fantastic.
Sure, time will tell what happens.
That may have to win the 'favourite comment' of all time Mrs Oub. Oh yes. Cheers!
xx
I wonder how many folk in the poetry world never really feel comfortable with it, even the ones who seem to be at the heart of it.
Maybe poetry just isn't big enough for what you want to express at the moment. You could write an 'on the road' style memoir of your travels, "one woman's journey, through grief and beyond" etc etc.
Quite a few folk I should think, Marion. Sometimes it seems that a lot of people 'in poetry' spend a lot of time arguing about it ('it should be like this', 'no, it should only be like that' etc.) and I am really not in a place for arguing right now.
As for the 'grief memoir' - aren't there a thousand such things already in existence? And I feel like I want to write about anything but myself and my life at the moment!
Interesting what you say about poetry maybe not being 'big' enough. I used to think it was the biggest genre/lit. area (in that you could do absolutely anything within it - it seemed to me). Then I came across the "no, it's only like this" arguments (often from those who, oddly, rave about experimentalism...). Oh, it's all quite beyond me...
x
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